Service excellence depends on consistency, but consistency does not mean treating everyone exactly the same. For service and support leaders, understanding what individual employees and customers need, and adapting accordingly, may be one of the most important leadership skills we develop.

Most of us grew up hearing the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated. It sounds reasonable. It sounds kind. But there is one fundamental problem with it. You are not me. And I am not you.

We may share basic human needs. We want to feel safe, respected, appreciated and heard. Beyond those fundamentals, people are remarkably different. We communicate differently. We process information differently. We want different amounts of direction, autonomy, interaction and feedback.

That is why, many years ago, I began applying the Platinum Rule: Treat people as they want to be treated.

Simple concept. Much harder to practice.

One size doesn’t fit all

I learned this lesson early in my management career. I was leading a service desk team and trying to establish consistency. When it came time for performance reviews, my approach seemed logical: everyone would get roughly the same amount of time, we would review the document together, discuss the feedback and complete the process.

Efficient? Absolutely. Effective? Not particularly.

Some people wanted to read their feedback privately before discussing it. Others wanted detailed examples behind every point. Some needed additional explanation. Others wanted a direct conversation and were ready to move on quickly.

I had assumed that what worked for one person would work for everyone. It didn’t. That experience taught me something I have carried throughout my career: Being efficient with people is not the same as being effective with people.

Standardize the process, personalize the experience

This matters enormously in service management because we spend so much time standardizing. We standardize workflows, define SLAs, build knowledge articles, automate routing and establish escalation paths. Operational consistency is essential for reliable service.

But people are not processes.

One employee may thrive with frequent coaching. Another may interpret constant check-ins as micromanagement. One loves public recognition. Another would be mortified by it. One wants detailed instructions. Another wants the objective and the freedom to get there. The same applies to customers. One wants someone to call and walk through an issue. Another would rather receive three clear written steps.

The process can remain consistent while the experience changes.

That is the Platinum Rule in practice.

Look, listen and learn

Applying the Platinum Rule requires leaders to pay attention.

You cannot lead people according to what they need if you have never taken the time to understand them. Notice what energizes people and what causes them to withdraw. Listen to what they say. Ask questions. Remember the answers. How do you like to receive feedback? Do you prefer more direction or autonomy? What type of work gives you energy? How do you like to be recognized? The answers provide something incredibly valuable: a blueprint for how to bring out the best in someone.

And those blueprints are never identical.

In my book, Zero to Hero: The Human Experience in Leadership and Business Transformation, I describe this realization as pivotal in my transformation from manager to leader. Getting to know people, understanding what they wanted and needed, and adapting my approach built something command-and-control leadership never could: trust.

The Platinum Rule applies to service, too

Customers don't experience our frameworks, workflows or organizational charts. They experience moments. Was someone listening? Did they understand the answer? Did they have to repeat themselves? Did the person helping them care about solving the problem or simply closing the ticket?

Great service requires adaptability. Customer preferences and expectations evolve, which means service organizations must listen and adjust rather than assume one experience will satisfy everyone.

Excellence gets personal

Treating everyone the same is easier. Learning people takes time. But leadership was never supposed to be about what is easiest. Processes can be standardized. Tools can be automated. Metrics can be measured. People cannot. So, the next time we instinctively reach for the Golden Rule, perhaps we should go one step further. Instead of asking, “How would I want to be treated?” ask, “What does this person need from me?”

Then look. Listen. Learn. And whenever possible, give it to them. That is the Platinum Rule.